The continuing antics of Simon
Now we never let the kids have a dog when they were young, because of my principles. If you cant give a dog 100 % of your time its not fair on the dog, but we did let Simon have a hamster which we made him responsible for looking after it feeding it cleaning out its cage regularly.
Simon was only six when he had his first hamster now bearing in mind the life span of a hamster is about 2 years it was not until he was 12 that he came to us crying one morning. " Dad hammy is dead can we bury him in the garden please." Yes Simon of course we can so he choose a spot in the garden in which to bury poor hammy. A few words were said over hammy and then Simon asked can i have another one please dad. Of course and it was off to the local pet shop. Simon choose his new hamster and said to the pet shop owner we buried poor hammy yesterday he had a good life he lived for 8 years. The shop keeper interjected and said are you sure they normally only live for 2 maybe 3 years at the most our secret was out the bag!
In the past we as caring parents each time hammy had died we had managed to exchange him with out Simon knowing. Talk about being found out we felt guilty for ages and every time Simon did something naughty he would remind us about how we had lied for years about hammy the hamster. Then one day he finally admitted that he had known for many years that the life time of a hamster was only 2 years and that he forgave us for being bad parents.
The continuing antics of Simon my youngest.
Yes I had just received yet another call from the school nurse "Mr. Mitchell I am afraid Simon has been involved in another accident playing basketball in the school yard I think he needs to be taken to hospital again"
So I jump in the car as usual and speed off to his school to collect him and take him to A & E on arrival the A & E department was crowded as usual so we joined the Que and waited patiently to bee seen by the doctor after several hours we finally got to see the doctor who took 3 seconds looking at Simon's swollen thumb and scribbled some notes on his pad and sent us to the x-ray department.
Yet another Que to wait in and another 2 hours pass and finally Simon is taken in to get x-rayed and after a further hour we get to see the doctor again " Well Mr. Mitchell its not broken just dislocated we will have just pop it back in and then you can take him home." We were then sent to another department to see another doctor who would pop it back in and send us on our way home some 6 hours later
" Right young man I am just going to give you some gas to ease the pain now i am sorry but this will hurt a bit." Simon replied " No thanks it smells awful just get on and pop it back in please I am fed up with all this waiting."
"OK son but its going to hurt a lot you do realize this don't you!"
"Yes just do it will you!" And at that the doctor and a nurse took hold of Simon an proceeded to pop his thumb back in. You could have heard the crack it made going back in from a mile away, I even felt the pain? but all Simon did was wince quietly and when the doctor brought out a stretch bandage to go over his thumb and wrist Simon's asked got any colored ones and the doctor said yes we have black, pink,blue and white.
Simon said "Black please i can join the black panther movement !" And with this all over the doctor instructed Simon no more basketball for six weeks its only a stretch bandage if it pops again we will have to put a plaster cast on now remember no basket ball. and with that we left for home.
The next morning I reminded Simon no basketball you know what the doctor said OK. "OK dad" and off he went to school. It was now 1100hrs and the phone rang picking it up the voice at the other end said " Mr. Mitchell its the school nurse here " I interrupted her " OK I am on my way he has done it again, I told him this morning no basketball. its not your fault its just Simon being Simon." The nurse commented "He´s a bit like Denis the Mennis." "Yes I know see you shortly." Upon arriving back at the A&E the doctor that did the popping in was coming out one of the offices and noticed Simon and I sitting waiting room "You again what did i say yesterday" "Sorry " Simon said "Does this mean I have to get a plaster cast ?" "Yes" The doctor said come with me and we went striate in which was one good thing and after about 2 hours Simon and I left with his arm in a solid black plaster up to just short of his elbow with the instructions of no basketball and see you in six week to have it removed.
whats the saying one day he will be the death of me I hope not but kids are kids. My mum used to say the exact same about me and my 2 sisters but they are a another lot of scary stories to tell I know i was worse than my kids thats for sure. more to come about Matt my eldest he was not as bad as Simon though but just as funny.
thats all folks.
Hi Ed this is how I feel at present to your last comment to me.
Did not know you had become an hysterical personality!!! whats all this clap trap about coming down to earth and speaking to the peasants of Singapore?? What planet have you been living on then I have always considered myself as one of the peasants one that has worked for the bosses most of my life had a 11 year break once where i was one of the bosses having to deal with as you call them the peasants but at no time while being a boss did I think myself better than my workers I would never have asked them to do something that I was not prepared to do myself with the exception of driving a 40ft truck and that was because i did not have a license to do so. What god given right do you have to call fellow humans peasants we are not living in the dark ages any more.
Does Daveb know that you have gone through a personality change/make over???
I always thought that when you were ed-infinitum you were a deep thinking person with much to say about what goes on in the world but this is now such a load of wobble no twaddle really ed i thought you were better than this.???????????
TO ALL VOXERS IN THE WORLD SOME 11 TO 12 YEARS AGO I SEPARATED AND GOT DIVORCED FROM A CAROL MITCHELL WHO WAS LIVING IN ALLINGTON MAIDSTONE AT 127 ARMSTRONG ROAD. WHEN MY ELDEST SON WAS EIGHTEEN SHE THREW HIM OUT AND HE CAME AND LIVED WITH ME HIS DAD AND HE HAS BECOME MY ROCK IN EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE SINCE MY DIVORCE. UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE LOST CONTACT WITH MY YOUNGEST SON SIMON PETER MITCHELL WHO REMAINED LIVING WITH MY EX WHO HAS REMARRIED AND BECOME MRS DODDS WHERE ABOUTS UNKNOWING
SIMON'S LAST WORDS TO ME WHEN HE WAS ONLY 13 / 14 AT THE TIME WERE DAD FUCK OFF I DID NOT BLAME HIM FOR THESE HARSH WORDS BUT AS YOU CAN IMAGINE IT HURT.
I AM NOW LIVING IN SPAIN SO IF ANY OF YOU KIND VOXERS HAVE ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF MY YOUNGEST CHILD WHO BY NOW IS AN ADULT OF 22 YRS OLD PLEASE PASS ON MY ADDRESS TO HIM HE CAN CONTACT ME THROUGH HERE OR VIA MY OWN E-MAIL ADDRESS ALEX@MR-SNAPPY.COM OR VIA MY WEB SITE WWW.MR-SNAPPY.COM
I THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING TO MY APPEAL
The continuing embarrassment's our kids put us through.
Still on the subject of my youngest Simon like skateboarding he was also very much into computers as well. This is an incident or was it an evil plot to take over the school you tell me? He had passed his 11plus and was granted a place at the same school as his big brother Matt who became his minder for many years. This is one of the first incidents that happened at his new school no more than 3 Weeks into his first term when I get a call from the headmaster demanding my presence to his office immediately, bearing in mind this was at 9.30 on a Tuesday morning.
On the drive over I was wrecking my brains whats he been up to now for me to get a call from the headmaster of all people it must be serious he´s only been there three weeks and already he is in big trouble. I arrived at the school and reported to the receptionist only to get the filthiest of looks if looks could kill i would not be telling this story now. I was immediately ushered into the headmasters office where Simon sat in front of this big old oak desk with the head sitting behind it with a Stearn look on his face.
"Sit down Mr Mitchell please"
I felt like a naughty school boy myself.
"Thank you for coming so quickly" he said "This is a very serious matter and I felt that you should be present when I make my decision about the future of your sons place at this school"
You can begin to believe what was running through my mind at this point god he has got in a fight and killed one of the students? No as it turned out it was worse. Simon on the previous day had hacked into the schools main frame and had changed the password on the server which served all the computers in the school some 600 odd pc´s and that morning none of the teachers could start the first lessons of the day until the problem was rectified.
An emergency Assembly was called and all 1000 odd students were summoned back to the assembly hall where the head master announced what had happened and in his statement to the school he assured the Assembly that there would be no repercussions if the person responsible would just change the password back to what it was. Now Simon was not thick by any means but he was gullible at times and owned up to this incident in question and this is why I was sitting in front of the headmaster feeling just as guilty as Simon. Needless to say Simon had to be punished for what he had done and I managed to negotiate a weeks suspension instead of being expelled which is what the head of IT wanted. This was just the beginning of many calls I received from the school about Simon but they are other stories that will be told later.
The further adventures of past memories.
It happened a few weeks after the arrival of the 40ft scaffold pole on a hot summers day during the last week before the kids had to return to school after the long summer break peace and quite was not far off now. Being privileged to be able to work from home i was working in the study booking lorries for that days orders when I heard a banging and a wailing at the front door upon opening the door there stood Simon tears streaming down his face and blood all over his hands crying and wailing dad "it hurts it really hurts" so being the only adult in the house it was down to me to become doctor and nurse and quickly ushered Simon to the kitchen sink and armed with iodine and antiseptic wipes proceeded to clean up the bloody mess only to find out it was only a grazed knee and grazed elbow so much blood from such little scratches I patched him up with two small plasters dried his eyes gave him a cuddle and instructed him to be more careful and ware his knee and elbow pads in future. With the weekend over the long summer break had come to an end both boys were eager to get back to school on that Monday morning peace quiet at last, no more dramas to deal with apart from the usual morning chaos of getting them off to school on time.
Thats what I thought until I received a call from the School nurse on the Tuesday only 2 days into the Autumn term. Whats happened I said alarmingly as the school did not often call you unless it was serious She said " its Simon he told me that he had hurt himself last week when he fell off his skate board" the nurse then instructed me that I should come and collect Simon and take him to hospital as she suspects that he has a broken arm. So I quickly jumped in the car collected Simon and took him off to the local hospital and after a long wait to be ex rayed we found out that he indeed had broken his arm in 2 places and the hospital plastered him up and instructed me to return in six weeks to have it removed. Branded for life as an uncaring parent by my kids. Have you as parents ever unknowingly had any misshapes with your kids. I will say one last thing in my defense my Simon has always had a very high pain threshold which I do have other stories to tell later.
Yesterday my dear friend Daveb and I went go karting he drives like a monster possessed by a demon,
but on the drive back I recalled a funny story of what my youngest Simon got up to one sunny hot day way back 15 years ago. Now this was before he was a rebellious teenager he was about 10 maybe 11,
I had just got home from work on a Saturday about 3 O'Clock and going round the side of the house i noticed a 40ft scaffold pole lying down at side of the house. Now bearing in mind we had not had any building work done to the house I wondered where did this come from, so I asked my children if they new where it had come from, and my youngest said it was his to use for grinding his skate board. I then asked him where did he find it, he said that he and his mates had found it down by the rail track at the back of his mates place, which was at the other end of the village where we lived which I will say was a small village then, they call it a town now I think thats because of the number of people that live there,
just one main street with shops down both sides, now they walked with this 40ft pole 4 small kids all aged about from 9 to 11 all they way through his mates estate, and then onto the high street which was about 3/4 mile long, then through our estate and not one adult approched the kids said hey lads where are you going with that pole. you can imagine how I just fell about laughing I saw the funny side like I always did with my kids, it reminds me now of Wanes World where the play hockey in the road, and when a car comes they shout car! and remove the goal posts from the street and then when the cars gone the shout game on.
My Simon was just the same with this 40ft pole which him and his mates would perch on top of washing up bowels turned upside down and use the pole to grind their skate borards on.
I do have some other funny stories that came from the result of this 40ft pole but will tell them later.
have your kids ever done anything crazy like this. please tell
tells a story my friend, well captured. read more
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